Olympic Fever Vaccine

There must have been a flu shot clinic some time in the past where they were offering vaccination against Olympic Fever and I somehow signed up for it. Either that or perhaps I am just a bad Canadian. At least that's how it feels.

It's becoming difficult to find a product or service that isn't somehow pimping itself with an Olympic tie-in. Add to that the unending stream of Olympic advertisements and the fact that my co-worker told me she has turned her house into an Olympic village, and I am starting to feel like perhaps I am missing something. I don't have one ounce of interest in the Olympics. Don't get me wrong, I respect the hard work and determination that these athletes dedicate to their chosen sports and I certainly feel a tinge of pride when I hear that Canada wins a gold medal, but overall I just see the Olympics as "that 2 weeks where it becomes difficult to find anything to watch on TV other than sports."

Let me know if you share in my disinterest, or perhaps let me know why this is a fever I might want to catch. Please use the comments below.

Design Tips for Non Designers

I have been busy at work all morning, and it's been a good design day so far. I like a morning that starts with a quick illustration and some photoshop work. I'm in a good creative frame of mind, and I thought that while I sit here waiting for an appointment, I might share a few tips with the non-designers out there who have decided to tackle their own design projects.

Too often we see these "would-be-designers" fall into the same traps, and we sit and laugh about how they should have hired a professional. While this may be true...many won't, or can't afford to. So as a public service I offer up the:

Top Ten Tips to Avoid Being Mocked by a Designer:

1. The Island is not a beautiful shape.
Never include this shape as part of your logo. No one cares about the shape of the province, it will not entice people to buy your product or service. No one says "Oh my look dear, that business has a logo that looks like a giant chicken finger we need to do business with them!".

2. Comic Sans is fine for comics...
...well you know what, no it's not even good for that. Don't use this font. EVER. It looks like it was hand drawn by a child. Do you want potential customers to think a child handles your marketing? I guess the one exception to the rule here is, if you are a Clown College, this could be your corporate font.

3. Clipart is evil.
Sure you got 1,000,000 pieces of clipart for $4.99 at Walmart in the bargain bin, but trust me you got less than you paid for. Clipart is useful for charity fund-raising coupon booklets and that is all. I understand that sometimes you feel you need an illustration and you aren't able to draw. If you can't afford to have a professional do the drawing, give some serious thought to how badly you need it. Some of the greatest designs of all time have been text only.

4. Script fonts are supposed to simulate handwriting.
With that in mind, please note to never use a script font in all capital letters. Would you write in all capital letters? You might print in all caps, but "writing" in caps looks ridiculous and it is difficult to read. Don't do this.

5. All menus should be easy to read.
You want customers to order something don't you? Why not make it easier for them by making a menu that is easy to read. Make your type large enough, don't use a dark background unless you are going to use a white type face, and don't put pictures behind the text unless it leaves the text clearly visible.

6. Your logo does not have to be a literal representation of your name.
For instance if your company is Western Septic Services, you don't need to have a picture of a cowboy sitting on a toilet in your logo. Although, that would be funny and might actually work...bad example, but I think my point is made.

7. Stock photographers are better than you!
Local professional photographers may be better still, at least to provide photos that will work for your project. If you are going to use photos, don't use your own unless you are a trained professional. The saying "a picture is worth a 1000 words" is very true. Therefore a bad image equals 1000 bad words! Do you want to spout 1000 bad words at a potential customer all at once?

8. Your favourite colour may not be mine.
Just because you like Shady Lane Green, does not mean it is a good colour to represent your steak house. Colour theory is complicated and is a very important element in your design. If you aren't sure what colour works for your business, use black. Black is always safe. There is nothing wrong with a nice black and white design. The design should stand on it's own and the colour should be like icing on the cake.

9. PMS, it's not what you think....
If you are going to ignore my last tip and use colour, make sure you select colours that are from the Pantone Colour Matching System. This way you can be sure that your colour will always be your colour no matter where you get your design printed. If you use the PMS colour model for your design, your company colours should be consistent. You can find the pantone colour swatches online very easily.

10. Be consistent.
If you get through the first nine rules, this one will be the most important. Once you have your design, and font, and colour all ready to go. Use it. Every time you create something to market your business try to have it look somewhat similar to the last thing you did. It's called building brand recognition. If you use a different type face and different logo every time you send something out, how will anyone ever recognize you. Imagine your logo as the face of your business. People will get familiar with that face and will recognize it very quickly, if they see it often.

There are many more tips I could offer, but hey this isn't design school! I like having a job so I can't give away all my secrets. Actually now that I think about it, the best tip I could give would be:

HIRE A DESIGNER! We like to eat.

Would you believe...

During this morning's news updates on K-Rock there was a segment on a recent study that had been conducted. Researchers have determined that sitting for long periods of time, such as 8 hours per day, may be bad for your health and could be a factor that would lead to obesity.

I hope we, the taxpayer didn't pay a lot for this research. I have a feeling we did.

As a public service to taxpayers everywhere I am offering up the following research results free of charge. No studies will ever need to be conducted on the following.

1. Breathing will prolong your life.
2. Eating has been shown as a possible cause of excrement.
3. Water prevents dehydration.
4. Sleeping is an effective treatment for tiredness.
5. Not spending money on stupid research projects will save tax payer dollars.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled 8 hours of sitting.

The Kindness of Islanders

Much to my amazement in less than 24 hours from my time of posting about my Eastlink experience I received this very helpful email from Derek MacEwen:

"Hi. I passed your "Huh?" blog post re Eastlink's HD service on to Marty Stewart, who is Eastlink's PEI Operations Manager (and my son's hockey team manager). He says that if you are the Dale McKie who lives at (my address), you should be able to get full HD service. He asked me to pass along his cell number: xxx-xxxx. His email is xxxxxx@eastlink.ca. He'll fix things up (he sure did for me when my Internet connection died last Thursday and the call centre told me they couldn't get there until Monday morning!)."


I spoke with Marty and he has suggested that within 24 hours I will be enjoying HD in my home again!

This is one of those times where I am marvelled by the benefits of living in a small province like PEI. Everyone here knows someone who knows someone who can help to solve your problem.

I would like to thank Derek and Marty both for taking the time to read about my problem and going above and beyond to help resolve it.

Please take note Eastlink, this is what customer service is all about. Perhaps you could give Derek a free month or two of internet for saving one of your customers? While you're at it, how about a nice Christmas bonus for Marty?

Huh?

I just don't understand some companies!

Last night we noticed a message on our Eastlink HD PVR. It was informing us that 2 HD channels are available right now for a free preview. We checked them out and they worked and looked great.

Sounds good right? Two HD channels for free for a month, hard to complain. But wait....

Since we moved to York in May we have been reassured that HD should be available in our area.  However, after several failed attempts to sign up for the service (each attempt requiring a long conversation that usually involved tech support and supervisors being contacted, as the nice sales person couldn't understand why it wasn't available), we had resigned ourselves to the fact that HD wasn't available in our area and we would need to look at alternatives to Eastlink. Until last night...

Suddenly we were watching the Super Chanel in HD. As if by some miracle it just worked...we suddenly had 2 HD channels working in our home. Of course this motivated me to contact Eastlink and request the HD package we have been missing so badly.

So here is how it went:

ME: Hi I would like to sign up for the HD channels please.
EL: Sure, can I get your name and address?
ME: Sure (name and address given)
EL: OK let me just make sure it is available in your area.
ME: Great, thanks.
(Several minutes on hold)
EL: Oh I am sorry sir but HD is not available in your area yet.
ME: Hmmm, that is what we have been told in the past as well, but last night we received a message about 2 free HD channels being available. It was on our HD PVR and when we checked to see if they were working, we were pleased to see that they were.
EL: That's strange, so you were able to view the Super Channel?
ME: Yes, and we would like to have the HD package we used to have before we moved to York if you could just add that to our account.
EL: But I am afraid that HD isn't available in your area sir.
ME: But I was watching HD on the free HD channels last night. So is there some reason that these packages aren't available?
EL: I am not sure sir. I can check for you with my supervisor.
ME: OK but before you do, are these two free channels HD channels?
EL: Yes they are sir.
ME: OK, and I am receiving them right now perfectly. So would you agree that there is HD available in my area technically?
EL: Well, yes. Do you mind holding while I check with my supervisor.
ME: Sure.
(another long hold)
EL: I am sorry sir, but I checked with my supervisor and she checked into this issue, and I can assure you that HD is not available in your area at this time. We don't have the lines in place to carry HD channels to your area.
ME: Hmm, but before you put me on hold we had just agreed that I am currently able to watch HD in my home for free on 2 channels for the next month. Therefore HD must be available. I would just like to add other channels that I pay for to these 2 free channels and I will be a happy customer.
EL: Yes, I understand, but HD isn't available in your area at this time and we aren't sure when it will be.
ME: Is it possible for you to just add the HD package to my account and I will start paying for them and watching them even though they aren't available like the 2 free HD channels that aren't available that I am currently enjoying?
EL: No, I'm afraid not, because HD is not available in your area, we can't add HD channels to your account.
ME: But you did, you added two free HD channels that work perfectly.
EL: Yes that is strange, I am not sure why they are working.
ME: OK, so is there anyway to find out when the other channels can be added.
EL: No I am sorry but we don't have any information on what areas will be getting upgrading to HD at what time.
ME: So there is no way for you add HD channels to my line, but I am getting 2 HD channels that you added for free, is that correct?
EL: Yes it seems to be.
ME: OK well I think I may need to switch to satellite, thank you for your help.
EL: Thank you sir, would you like to speak to technical support about this?
ME: No thanks, I am pretty sure it won't help.